The start of the year is the perfect time to think about what healthy intimate habits you’d like to implement. Very rarely do we think about putting our pleasure at the forefront. Pleasure has the potential to be the centre of an excellent self-care regime; both alone and shared with partners.
Here are some ways you can build a more intimate year:
#1 Mindfulness: If you haven’t jumped on the mindfulness bandwagon, now is a good time. A simplistic beginner strategy is to find three-minute guided meditations via a meditation app or via YouTube to practice.
Another strategy is to spend a minute three times a day using your senses. This could look like sipping your morning coffee tasting how bitter it is, how hot is it, what aromas do you smell? During your daily shower you can bring your attention to how hot the water is, what does the soap smell like, what part of the body does the water hitting you feel best? If you can bring your attention to your senses three times a day during a daily ritual, you can then transition this to touch, to intimacy, and to sexual touch. Your senses will keep you present during sexual interactions, so why not practice during easy moments each day. Learning to be more embodied has the potential to help the intimacy.
#2 Scheduling: Whilst scheduling sex, intimacy, or touch can sound horrifically unsexy for some people, it also helps foster a regular sex life. Unfortunately, the busy lives we lead don’t slow down, and many factors pop up that help throw the brakes on to sex. If you are partnered, and prioritise intimacy with good intentions, you might just find your relationship having more intimate moments. Think back to your courting honeymoon phase, the happy hormones were running wild. Dates were planned, time spent was coordinated and planned, which usually resulted in intoxicating curiosity and excitement that helped accelerate the brain to want sex. After several years of a relationship, the curiosity might have dwindled, however planning time together with a good intention has great potential.
#3 Enhancing Sexual and Non-Sexual Self Pleasure: When we think about sex, we often think of it being a team sport. Enhancing your own self pleasure can often help have better partnered sex. If you don’t know your body already, then why not start with that as the goal this year. This doesn’t mean increasing alone time and neglecting your partner (for those in relationships). What it does mean is spending time and taking time to explore your body. For example, use a vibe from head to toe. See what parts of the body respond and you enjoy. Don’t just focus on the genitals.
Next, think about using different erotic mediums to assist with fantasies. Listen to or read an erotic story, tune into a podcast that discusses different sexual practices, find erotic art via social media or galleries. Think of different ways other than mainstream porn that can turn on the brain.
Nonsexual pleasures can range from massages, a trip to the local pool and sauna, an ice bath, facials, foot rubs, or manicures. Dipping your feet into sand and the ocean, reiki, a wellness float, or even sitting in the sun with a good book. Self-care looks different for everyone, and so does pleasure. Be conscious this year of what makes your body feel good and do these things regularly. It’s ok to put your bodies non sexual and sexual pleasures into your intentions for 2024.
